The Daily Stuff
by Casual-the-casual
Summary: Follow your four favourite mutant turtles through their daily lives, mostly one-shots. Raph centric but includes the other turtles a lot too. Enjoy! NO ROMANCE. [I'm accepting requests!]
1. The daily stuff

**Hiya guys! I've decided to upload this story here because my updates for **_**A shot for you**_** are so slow. xD All of these are small one-shots and headcannons I have, so they're already finished and won't be getting in of any major fanfics! Mostly just here for you to check out if you're curious. :3 Enjoy!**

All he realized at first was pounding, on his door. It wasn't the best thing for this hot-head to wake up to in the morning either. Who was said hot-head you might ask? Raphael. The second eldest muntant ninja turtle. Why was there pounding at the door? Not even he knew. With that being said, the red masked turtle, who currently wasn't wearing his mask growled and grabbed the nearest thing to his hammock- a book Leo had given him for Christmas- and threw it at the door. Everything was quiet again, and the ever present pounding stopped much to his relief.

As he started to fall back to sleep though, the pounding came back. Either someone was trying to get killed, or someone really needed him. With a groan the red masked turtle got out of his hammock, grabbing his mask and putting it on while walking to the door.

"Ya betta be dyin' or bleedin' when I open that door or I'mma kill ya."

As he opened the door he was surprised to see Leo frowning, arms crossed over his plastron.

"You slept all day Raphael. Again. It's time for us to go on patrol. Donnie needs some new things for his lab too."

"What're we standin' here for then?"

Raphael walked past Leo, and jumped down to the floor below were Donnie and Mikey were waiting. He ignored the statement about him sleeping all day, he always did these days. Raphael had started sneaking topside every night to stop the local street punks although Leo seemed to be catching on, he still didn't have proof.

"Jeez Raphael! You're like sleeping beauty, all you ever do is like, sleep dude!" Mikey grinned, poking Raph's forehead.

As he slapped Mikey's hand away, giving him a glare he tried to ignore Donnie looking at him worriedly.

"Have you been feeling sick Raph?"

Now it was Donnie's turn to be glared at.

"I feel fine! Can't a turtle get some extra sleep?!" He yelled, giving all three of his brothers a disappointed glare before walking ahead and into the sewers, towards the next manhole that led to the city above them.

Even though Raphael had been healthy, healed, and apologized to Leo for four months now, his three brothers still treated him as if he was ill, and when he got angry, they would stop bothering him like he might attack. Which he could, although he had been working on his temperment things didn't really change, so he gave up.

"Raph! Leo said he would take Mikey on patrol and you could help me at the dump."

The second eldest turtle looked at his younger brother, who was holding a brown sack and a list.

With a quiet growl towards Leo, he nodded and began running. "Let's go then." He yelled as Donnie ran with him.

As they ran, and did summersaults and flips, Donnie watched Raphael, he wasn't slower, or less balanced. Raphael was obviously okay, so then why was he sleeping all day? Unless he was depressed.

"Hey Raphie, I was wondering, you don't complain about not going topside as much anymore. Why is that?"

Raphael hesitated before answering, "Dunno. Jus' no point, whenever I go topside all of ya watch me like a hawk."

He grumbled, landing on a building and stopping, pointing down to the alley below where a man was pulling on a girl's purse. Then Raphael jumped down, grabbed the man and slammed his head into the concrete hard enough to knock him out, but not hard enough to kill him.

The lady screamed and ran away, and Raphael climbed the fire escape back up to the building.

"That was a bit rough, wasn't it?"

"Nah, he'll be fine."

"Raph..."

"Drop it Donnie."

Raphael sent Donnie a glare and he ignored it, looking down at his list instead, "Let's hurry then."

With that, they began running again.

Currently, the turtles were all sitting inside the lair, Raphael eating a slice of cheese pizza -he'd missed all three meals today since he'd been sleeping- Donnie was cooped up in his lab, Leo was meditating with Master Splinter, and Mikey was playing video games. The usual of course.

This was the only night Raphael didn't go out, not because he didn't want to, but because tomorrow they had training, and they had patrol. They had patrol once a week, and training the morning after. Sometimes Splinter had surprise training sessions, but those were usually meditating so Raphael didn't mind.

"Raph, you're gonna eat all the pizza dude! I planned on have that for breakfast!"

"I was hungry Mikey, shuddap."

"But-"

"Don't make me beat you."

Mikey pouted and stuck his tongue out, and Raphael rolled his eyes. Stating that he was going to sleep. He was still tired, and the sleep would help for tomorrow morning when it was time to train.

Jumping up to the second floor of their home, Raphael went into his room and closed the door, yawning and laying in his hammock. Usually he'd be getting ready to go out, making a checklist in his head of what he needed and if he had it with him. Tonight though, he'd sleep. Tomorrow night he'd go back to his vigilante get up like usual. With those thoughts in his mind he fell asleep.

Downstairs Donnie sat in his lab, not really working on anything important but just playing with a computer panel out of boredom. That was until Leo walked in. "What're you working on Donnie?" He asked.

"Nothing much, did you need anything? Did Master Splinter break the toaster again? Luckily I got a-"

"No Donnie. I just wanted to ask you about Raphael."

The purple masked turtle blinked and tilted his head, "What about him?"

"Did he complain? About have to look for things instead of go on patrol?"

"No actually, we ran into one street thug and Raph knocked him out, then we kept moving."

"He's up to something, Donnie. I just know it." Leo spoke as he leaned against the metallic table Donnie was sitting at, "I mean he hasn't complained about going topside in weeks."

"I asked him about it, he said he saw no point to it. He said he goes out twice every week already and that we watch him like a hawk while he's out." Donnie put the computer panel down and looked at Leo worriedly, "I think he's depressed."

This made Leo tilt his head, and he was quiet for a moment before speaking up, "Why would he be?"

The purple masked turtle shrugged, looking at the panel as he thought. "It could be a number of things. I mean, we're mutants who live under the sewers and need to hide from people even though we protect them. He did get fatally wounded about a year ago too. He has a bad temper and doesn't let people in, keeps his emotions to himself. All of them can lead to depression really."

Leo frowned, "So what do we do?"

"I'm not sure yet. I don't know of he's depressed for sure either. I need to give it a few days, but he has devoloped symtoms of depression. Sleeping a lot, losing interest in the things he enjoys, eating habits."

"Eating habits?"

"He doesn't eat all day, then, at night, he takes the left over pizza and eats it all before going back to bed."

Leo nodded and pushed himself off the table, "We'll keep an eye on him then."

"Just don't make it too obvious, he's already annoyed enough with us watching hin during patrol..."

"Don't worry Donnie. I'm going to bed, it's late and we have training in the morning."

The third eldest turtle nodded, "Sounds like a good idea." He too stood up and stretched his arms, yawning as he did so and following Leo out of the lab.

Leo pointed at the couch where a snoring Mikey was, Donnie smirking and chuckling lightly before telling Leo goodnight and jumping up to his room on the second floor, getting into his bed and getting comfortable as well.

Sadly, Donatello had never been a morning person. So when Leo had woken him up that morning, it took him a few minutes to get up, and when he did the first thing he did was stumble tiredly into the kitchen and start the coffee maker with a yawn. As that was going he quietly sat down at the table, thinking of the day ahead of him. After training Raphael usually took a shower, and slept, only leaving the room to grab a drink, sometimes he'd be awake and Donnie could hear him in his room, practicing, and sometimes he'd go into the dojo to practice.

Today he'd ask Raphael to help him try out the new turtlecycle he had made. Raphael had a weird fondness for motorcycles so he'd say yes.

"Donnie, you look tired " Mikey teased as he flopped into the chair across from his older brother, kicking his feet up onto the table

Donnie grunted and stared at Mikey's feet in disgust before getting up to pour his cup of coffee. Leo, who had just come downstairs and also seemed disgusted by the fact that Mikey's feet were on the table, slowly sat down while staring at his youngest brother. "Why are your feet on the table Mikey?"

"Sorry dude."

Leo frowned as Mikey took his feet off the table and put his arms there instead, laying his head ontop his arms, staring at the sink before looking over to Donnie. "Who's gonna wake up Raph and his attitude?"

"No one needs tah wake me up Mikey." Came a gruff reply behind and Donnie couldn't help but bite back a laugh when Mikey almost fell out of his chair.

"Yo Donnie! Make me a cuppa that stuff will ya?" Came Raph's response, as he ignored Mikey completely and sat down beside Leo, laying his head on the table.

"When did you start drinking coffee Raph? I thought you said you hated it?" Leo asked with an amused expression and Raphael just frowned.

"Shaddup Leo." He murmed, glaring at the other as Donnie put a hot cup of black coffee infront of Raphael.

The purple masked ninja knew Raphael shouldn't be tired, but then again, his older brother was never much of a morning person so maybe he was just grumpy. He took a sip of his coffee and looked at his other three brothers, Leo was silently reading today's paper that April probably left for them, Mikey was sleeping at the table, and Raph had downed his coffee and was whistling.

"You know, it's probably not good to drink coffee like that Raph."

The red masked turtle just grunted and shrugged.

."S'probably not good to drink five cups every mornin' either. Don't see ya slowin' down though."

"Well I-" Just the Master Splinter walked in, a smile on his face.

"Good morning my sons."

"Good morning Master Splinter." Leo seemed to speak for all of them as Donnie took a sip of his coffee, Mikey had just woken up, and Raph was staring into his empty cup with a frown.

"You are quiet this morning, my sons. Is there anything you wish to tell me?" The giant rat asked suspiciously, but his sons all looked up at him and shook their heads.

Donatello watched as Raphael tapped on his glass silently, before grunting and taking the cup to the sink, walking to the dojo, Leonardo blinked, and looked at the other two. "What's his problem?"

"Dude, maybe he's just excited for training!"

"Let's all join your brother." Master Splinter replied, although you could see the confusion in his eyes.

The other three nodded and followed their sensei into the dojo, on the walk Donatello thought about Raphael's behavior, he didn't make rude comments, he didn't tease Mikey...Actually, Raphael seemed to be in his own little world, like he was blocking them out.

He put these thoughts to the back of his mind as they entered the dojo and kneeled before Master Splinter.

"Training will be short today. You are to practice your katas and that is all."

Now this was strange. Master Splinter never made training this short, at least without reason. Though he wasn't telling them the reason this time.

"Yes Master Splinter." All four turtles spoke at once, before their sensei nodded, and went into a small room on the side of the dojo where he meditated.

As they all stood and looked at each other questioningly. Although none had the answer to why training was so short so they all began.

Raphael was sitting in his room, swaying in his hammock, he wasn't alseep, or tired, but just going through his mental checklist. As he did so, he spun one of his beloved sais around his finger, whistling as he thought. Leo didn't seem as intent on bothering him about his sleeping habits, which bothered Raph even more. That meant he knew something, which meant he'd probably be waiting for him later tonight. Who knows, but he didn't have time to think about the subject more because someone started knocking on his door.

Frowning, afterall usually he was left alone at this time he walked over to the door and opened it, "What is it Donnie?" the red masked turtle asked, leaning against the door frame.

"I was uhm...wondering if you wanted to help me with the turtlecycle. I changed a few things I figured you'd be interested."

Raph grunted before nodding and pushing himself off the doorframe with a smirk, "Sounds fun." He replied, putting the sai he had been spinning around his finger back into his belt.

Donnie grinned and nodded, leading Raphael to the garage where the kept their automobiles.

Raphael was of course, happy to come along. He enjoyed motorcycles a lot and he loved when Dontello let him help. Although usually Donnie built the turtlecycle, and Raphael added things, or worked on it himself to make it faster, once he broke the breaks, so he wouldn't have to stop, but once Donatello had figured out he fixed them.

"I put some new breaks in, and changed the tires. I also made it a little bit faster, I figured you'd take it for a test run?"

Raphael grinned. "Course I will." He replied, running his hand along the leather seat.

"Thanks Raph, it'll help, really. I'm still busy trying to fix Mikey's shellcell. Again."

"Anytime Donnie-boy." Raph replied and hopped onto the turtlecycle, turning it on, Don quickly opebed the door for him and Raphael was gone, flying down the alley and to the mainstreet, Donnie hadn't even seen him grab his helmet.

Raphael meanwhile was speeding down the highway, a grin on his face as he went as fast as he could, swerving around cars and back into an alley before hitting a dead end and stomping on the breaks, stopping mere inches from the wall. He could smell the tireburn.

Oh well.

He'd worry about it later though, right now he had to get back to the lair and get ready for tonight. Maybe even bring this baby with him. With that thought in mind he started the engine again, and this time, headed back to home.

He'd be busy tonight.


	2. Pancakes

Michelangelo woke up with a yawn as he heard the yelling from downstairs. Who was fighting this early? Wiping his eyes tiredly he rolled out of bed and grabbed his mask, putting it on as he left his room and jumped to the floor below where Donatello and Leo were...fighting? No, that never happens. Leo was too calm and Donnie tried to stay on everyones good side. He was relieved when he realized they weren't fighting but freaking out over breakfast.

Somehow, no one in the house could cook for their lives. It amused Mikey to no ends. "Heya guys, what's up?" He asked, smirking.

"Mikey! When's breakfast gonna be ready?" Leo asked, giving his brother a this is not funny look.

"Dunno dudes. Raph ate all the pizza last night, didn't plan on making breakfast this morning."

The horrifying looks his brother's had made Mikey double over in laughter, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes, he chuckled and grinned. "It's no problem though! The amazing Michelango will make something!"

Don and Leo nodded and sat down at the kitchen table, watching Mikey closesly as he got out a bowl, pancake mix, a pan, and turned the stove on. He hummed as he began making the pancake mix and mixing it in a bowl.

"Yesterday Raph was with you?" Leo broke the silence, staring at Don, who nodded.

"He helped me test run the new updates to the turtlecycle."

"How long was he gone?"

"About an hour and a half, when he got back he told me it was fine, and went back to bed."

Mikey pouted and poured the mix into the pan, "He's always sleeping."

"We know Mikey." Donnie stated, giving his brother an amused expression when the youngest turtle stuck his tongue out at them.

"I know you know."

"So what are we going to do about it? There's only so much sleep you can do before it's unhealthy." Donnie took a sip of his fourth cup of coffee that morning.

"Does he like, even train anymore bros?"

Leo blinked, and shrugged. "I'm not sure, I see him in the dojo sometimes, but it's only for about an hour."

Donatello spoke up, "He trains. I hear him in his room all the time. When he isn't asleep he just stays up there...Hey Mikey, you done yet?"

"So he's avoiding us?" Mikey asked with a pout then grinned, "Perfection takes time Donnie. You should know that." he teased.

Leo chuckled and shook his head, as Donnie blinked and frowned. "Shut up Mikey." he huffed.

Mikey laughed again then shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever you say, dude." putting four pancakes on a plate, two for each of his brothers. He set the plates infront of his two older brothers and grinned.

"Thanks Mikey." Leo said before digging in, Donatello doing the same.

Once his brothers had finished eating he washed their dishes, made food for himself, then cleaned up. The normal morning routine actually, except usually Raphael was with them. Maybe he'd make some for him? With a smile he decided he'd make Raphael breakfast. Of course his brother wouldn't be ignoring the rest of them then.

With this in mind Mikey began making the ultimate pancake he mixed the pancake batter, adding marshmallows and chocolate, a little bit of cinnamon, and sugar too. Next he put it in the pan on the stove, watching it bake, Mikey knew Raphael liked his pancakes crispy on the sides so he let it stay in a little longer than needed before flipping it and putting it on a plate. The orange masked turtle made another just like the forst one, then back stack them. Beneath each pancake there was chocolate syrup and butter, on top of the second one there was whip cream woth chocolate shavings, a tad more cinnamon, and choxolate syrup. His brother had always like strawberries more than cherries so he sliced a strawberry and put the slices around the pancake. How could Raph ignore him now after this wonderful breakfast? With a grin he took the plate and quickly-but carefully- brought it to Raph's room.

The youngest of the turtles knocked on Raphael's door three times, before giving his older brother a minute to answer, he still wore a cocky grin, but when Raphael opened the door, and was leaning against it tiredly, glaring at Mikey, and if looks could kill, Mikey would be dead twice ocer by now.

" I made ya breakfast dude!" Mikey grinned while holding up the plate.

Raphael was about to close the door, but then stopped and reached for the plate, taking it before giving his brother a suspicious look. Mikey shrugged, still grinning.

His plan was working! He stepped to the side so Raphael could come out but then he realized his older brother had already closed his door. Grin changing into a pout he knocked on the door. "You're supposed to eat it with us dude!"

He didn't get a response.

It had been a few hours since the food incident and none of the turtles, or Master Splinter had seen Raphael all day. Currently Mikey was watching old horror flicks with an unamused Donatello, and Leo was meditating with Master Splinter.

"I don'f get it dude. He wasn't mad, he ate the food because I found the dish outsode his door!"

"Maybe he just wants to be alone Mikey. You know how Raph gets random fits sometimes. He probably doesn't want to lash out at us by accident." Donnie shrugged, staring at the tv with a bored expression when a girl was split in half, her boyfriend screaming.

Mikey, who hugged his pillow closer and tore his eyes from the screen to pout at his brother. "He's never been mad this long before. Not even when he got hurt."

"Who knows Mikey. I'm sure he'll get over it soon though."

Mikey didn't answer thos time, eyes glued to the television screen as the murderer grabbed the now dead girl's boyfriend, making him stare at his girlfriend's body. Donnie rolled his eyes and looked at his lab longingly, damn Mikey and his puppy eyes.


	3. Broken Televisions

Glaring at vile of green goo in the test tube he held he huffed, dumping it in the hazard container for what seemed like the hundreth time. He was just about to start again when his shellcell went off and he dropped the acid on the table, watching it smoke and burn the metallic surface. Groaning, Donnie decided he needes a break. Now.

Picking up his shellcell he answered the called while rubbing his temples. "Hello?"

"Donnie! Uhm, the tv broke. Again. If it's no trouble cohld you-"

"It's no trouble at all April! I'll be over in a few!" With that he hung up, he really needed a break, and something as simple as a broken television would work. Not only that but it had been weeks since he had seen April, and Casey. The turtles were always so busy, and so were Casey and April. April finally got a good paying job and house with Casey, and he seemed to be busy with working all day and night.

As Donnie put his lab equipment away, and filled a bag with things he might need he called Leo into the room, his brother peaked his head in.

"Did you finish making-"

"No, I have to go to April's and fix the television again." Donnie didn't even look up at his brother as he zipped his bag and through it over his shoulder, walking out the door, a confused Leo following him.

"I'll go get Mikey and Raph, they haven't seen April or Casey for awhile."

With a nod, Don began walking to the garage. "I'll be in the battleshell." (Gah, I haven't watched TMNT in so long, especially the older one.(2003) Is this right?)

Leo nodded and ran back to Mikey's room calling the youngest turtle out before knocking on Raph's door.

DOnnie sighed as he looked down at his shellcell. It had been twenty minutes and Leo still wasn't back. Just as he was getting ready to go get his brothers, they got into the battleshell. Raphael of course, wasn't there.

"Too tired?" He asked, and Leo only nodded while frowning.

"Dude, he can't actually be sleeping that much! Can he?"

Before Don could answer Mikey Leo spoke up, "Don we can't let him sleep all the time. The only time he comes out is for training or food!"

"I know Leo, but there's not much I can do."

"Is Raph okay?" Mikey asked quietly, and both older brothers shrugged, Donnie answering first.

"I don't know Mikey. "

With that the three turtles left.

Once they were at April's, Mikey had attacked April with a hug before going through the newest movoes she had gotten, Don was fixing the television , and Leo was talking to April and Casey.

"Do you need anything Don? I'm sorry for asking you to fix it agan, the thing won't stay fixed!"

"It"s fine April, really. I needed a break." Donnie laughed, "ai brought my bag, always come prepared."

Leo sat on the couch next to Casey, who was playing some game on April's laptop.

"What's he workin on again?" Casey askes Leo, who shrugged

"If you ask me it looks like green goo." Leo replied, and Donnie frowned.

"The last time we saw the purple dragons they had guns, but they were really...high tech. Probably stolen from the kraang. Just to make sure I took two with me. They're powered off...some weird acid. I'm trying to replicate it."

"Oh." Casey replied, obviously barely paying attention.

April however seemed intrigued. "Do you think it can have other use, other than harm that is?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'm still working on replicating it." Donnie replied with a shrug.

Mikey looked up suddenly. "I'm hungry."

"Finally! Something I can understand!" Casey grinned while closing April's laptop a bit harshly much to her annoyance.

Jumping over the back of the couch Casey grabbed the housephone. "What type of pizza guys? I was thinking pineapple and ham."

Mikey made a face, "Ew dude! Like, only Raph likes that!"

"Pineapple and ham is awesome!"

"No it isn't"

"Yes it is!"

"Speaking of Raph, where is he? I haven't seen him in weeks." April spoke over Casey and Mikey's fighting.

Leo frowned, and Donnie shrugged. "He just sleeps all the time. Leo tried getting him but-"

"He wanted to be stubborn, because big old Raph has to always seem like a rogue." Leo cut Donnie off.

April sent Don and look and he blinked and shrugged. What had Raph said to Leo earlier to make the other mad?

Casey jumped back over the couch, landing next to Leo and grinning. "I'm sure he's jus bein a hothead like always."

"Who's bein' a hothead?"

All five of them turned to the open window to see Raphael standing there, frowning, arms crossed over his plastron.

"Raphael!" April smiled, "You came!"

"Course I came, I ain't that mean." He muttered, hopping into the room and closing the window behind him.

Leo rolled his eyes and watched as Don went back to trying to fix the tv. Mikey grinning and gicing his red masked brother a thumbs up.

Casey fist bumped Raphael, "We just ordered pizza."

"Peperoni!" Mikey chirped, grinning.

Raphael, shook his head, and sat next to April. "No hawaiian? Really?"

"Mikey thinks it's nasty and we didn't think you were coming." April replied, smiling.

Donnie looked up at Raphael, staring at him for a moment. He did look tired, but not dreadfully so. He didn't seem upset, he wasn't acting different. What was up with Raphael?

Currently all the turtles were headed home, Mikey was asleep in the back, Leo and Raphael were glaring at each other and Donnie was driving. They had spent most of the evening at April's, watching movies- once Donnie had fixed the tv- and eating pizza.

Now that they were headed home the battleshell was filled with tenaion, mostly from Raphael and Leo's glaring contest. For whatever reason they weren't on good terms rifht now, and seemed to be dragging it out.

Donnie sighed and pulled into the garage, Raphael immediatly shovong past and towards the lair where he was probably retreating to his room.

"Mikey wake up." Don shook his brother as he watched Leo get off too, and Mikey slowly opened his eyes, before jumping up and grinning.

"Where's Leo and Raph?" He asked as he stretched his arms, Donnie following after him.

"They went back to the lair." He replied, following Mikey down into the sewers, closing the sewer drain after going down the ladder.

Mikey frowned but didn't say anything else, and Donatello could only sigh. Ever since Raphael had started this sleeping habit of his everyone had been a bit...short tempered. It affected them all, but none could complain.

As he entered the lair, the purple masked ninja went straight to his lab. He had to get back to work, this acid wasn't going to make itself. Although when he sat down, he was sure he'd be needing another break before he figured it out.


	4. All night long

It was dark, and cold. The sky was brewing with a rainstorm that was obviously about to start, so what was the famous red masked ninja turtle Raphael doing on the top of a building? A simple answer, fighting crime. He had gotten back to his vigilante ways, and the only time to do so was at night.

Leaning over a building and looking down at the many people below he snorted. "Why would people want to spend there time in weather like this?" He asked himself quietly, scowling. As a clap of thunder sounded Raph backed away from the top of the building and stretched, listening to the bones in his arm crack before running across the rooftop and jumping to the next one. There wasn't a lot of crime tonight, and it was going by slowly but as much as Raphael liked bashing heads in, less crime either meant the big, bad criminals are scared of bad weather, or he was scaring them away.

Probably the latter.

Upon hearing a scream, he came to a stop just as he was reaching the edge of a tall hotel roof, looking back to where he heard the scream from, twisting his body around and running back from the way he just came, his red mask tails flying in the wind behind him as he ran. The scream hadn't been that far away. Suddenly he heard it again, it was a kid by the sounds of the scream.

That made him run faster, no one should pick on kids! Jumping down into the alley below he ran through the maze of back streets and alleys before he reached the screaming, stopping just in time to see a little boy's mother crumple to the ground. Eyes widening the hot-headed turtle let out a loud growl and attacked the man who hurt the mother.

The next thing he knew, the man he had just attacked was laying on the ground, in a puddle of blood. With a gulp he turned around, praying to himself that the woman was okay, and luckily enough, she was. She was currently sitting up and holding her head, trying to calm her sobbing child. The little boy hadn't seen him. Yet. He should leave, backing into the shadows of a nearby dumpster he waited for the right moment, then lunged upwards, grabbing ahold of the fire escape and pulling himself up. As he reached the rooftop he began running again, waiting for the next crime to stop.

"Raph bro! It's dinner time you slept all day!"

At first he tried ignoring his younger brother, Raphael had had a long night stopping crime and all he wanted to do was sleep, but Mikey seemed intent on waking him for dinner as the orange masked turtle began poking him. Letting out a muffled groan he picked his head up from his hammock and gave his youngest brother a death glare. "Go away." He snapped.

"Master Splinter wants you to eat with us!" Mikey whined, poking Raphael more.

"Poke me one more time and I'll break yer fingers." Upon saying the threat the annoying poking stopped and Mikey only pouted instead.

After ten minutes of Mikey loomig over Raph the red masked turtle realized that the only way to get some peace would be to go downstairs and eat. With a sigh he picked himself up and out of his hammock, grabbing his mask on the nightstand next to his bed and putting it on, tying it tightly.

Mikey looked at him happily, "See ya downstairs dude." He said as he ran off to eat.

At least it was just dinner, he could sleep afterword. Stretching as he walked down the hallway then jumped downstairs he yawned, looking at his brothers and father who were all eating at the small, damaged wooden table they had found at the dump a few years back.

"Nice of you to join us Raphael."

The second eldest just nodded at his father and took a seat on the far end of the table, Leo frowning and looking over at him. Donnie looked worried, and Mikey looked indifferent, Splinter he couldn't read. Although he was wondering why everyone was staring at him. His question was answered when Donnie spoke up. "Aren't you going to make a plate?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You haven't eaten anything all day Raph! There's no way you aren't hungry." Leo huffed.

Raphael grunted and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Leo, "Last time I checked you don't know how my stomach feels."

Mikey watched as his brothers broke out arguing over the table, Splinter frowning and Donnie watching them without interest.

"Why do you have to be so hot headed?! We're worried about you Raphael! You spend all day and night sleeping! The only time you leave your room is for training or patrol!"

"Well I never said I wanted ya to worry! Did I?! I'm fine!"

"Raphie, Leo is just worried..."

"I'm fine."

"Boys! This is not the time for fighting." Splinter spoke calmly but his patience was obviously wearing thin.

"We just want to help."

"I said I'm fine Donnie!" With that, Raphael stood up, stomping out of the room, leaving everyone else to eat.

As he left the room and went into his room- topside would be nice but he didn't want to have his brothers chasing him down- He punched his punchingbag. Hard, hard enough for his hand to tingle, but he liked it. Once he was done taking his anger out on the poor punchingbag he fell into his hammock and glared at the ceiling.

Raph knew he shouldn't be getting mad, that he should be happy his brothers still cared about him at all, but the way they treated him ever since he was ambushed by the purple dragons had been ridiculous. So how was he not supposed to get angry? His brothers treated him like a child, and he was anything but a child! Before the red masked turtle knew it, sleep was overtaking him and he was asleep, his brothers and fsther all downstairs, eating quietly.

Later that night when he would wake up to eat he'd stop to see that one of his brothers had lft a plate for him outside a door, and he'd smile and eat it.

It was six in the morning, and Raphael was sitting in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal. Training started in another hour today, which was unusual but Rah wouldn't complain. So far no one else was awake, probably taking the chance to sleep in, so he had the kitchen to himself this morning. After eatin he realized he had another rare treat: His choice in what to watch on the television. "Today's just mg day." He said to himself whilst smirking, jumping over the back of the couch and landing on the soft cushions, grabbing the remote and flipping to the sports channel.

"What are you doing up so early?"

Raphael spun around, looking at Donnie who was yawning and making a cup of coffee.

"I was eatin'."

Donnie only hummed in response this time, looking down into his now full cup of coffee before sitting down. Raph grunted and turned back to the television where the results of the football game were going off. Scowling Raph changed the channel to morning cartoons. He hated football.

"Yo dudes!" Mikey all but yellled, earning him a glare from both older brothers.

"Shuddap." Came a grumpy reply from Raph, Donatello sticking with a more civilized, "Please don't be so loud in the morning Mikey."

Mikey only laughed and began making himself oatmeal. Donnie picking up the newspaper April left in the morning everyday and sitting down with his coffee, Raph kicked his feet up on the coffee table, looking up. "Where's Fearless? He's usually up before us." Raph asked with a smug smirk.

"I woke up earlier to meditate." Came a smooth reply as Leo walked out of the dojo, looking at his brothers.

"Mornin, bro."

"Good morning Leo."

"Mornin."

"Good morni g to you guys as well." Leo smiled, and Raphael grunted, taking his cereal bowl to the sink and sitting back down infront of the T.V he was barely paying attention to.

"Someone's in a bad mood." Mikey mumbled to Donnie, Raphael sending a glare at his youngest brother.

"Shut up Mikey."

It wasn't that long until training started and all four turtles were kneeling before Master Splinter, awaiting the lessons for today.

"Today my sons, we will be meditating."

Mimey all but groaned, earning a glare from the large rat before smiling awkwardly, "I'm kidding sensei!" He laughed, holding both hands in the air, Leo frowned at his little brother's antics and Donnie smirked. Raphael of course, didn't care. All he wanted to do was sleep, but for now that would be impossible. At least training wasn't anything that active.

Tonight he had patrol, and tomorrow night he had off. The next night was with Casey. Taking in a deep breath the second eldest turtle tried to relax and keep his eyes closed without falling asleep. Mikey of course failed this, and Leo was the only the type of perfecrion that he could be, and Donnie seemed to be following in his footsteps.

Raphael on the other hand was too bisy trying to keep himself from falling asleep to actually focus though.

It was going to be a looooong day.


	5. Privacy

**Heyo guys, what's up? c: I'm working on A Shot For You, don't you worry your sweet little heads off xD For now though, let's get on with some one shots and shtuff c: **

Privacy. It was something they all seemed to respect, it was like an unspoken rule, even when they were younger. They had never gotten any rules about privacy, yet none of them ever needed the rule. It was like they already knew, and even now they left it that way. Despite this, they knew almost everything about the other. They all knew Leo's room was neat, with only a few candles and books tucked neatly into a shelf. His bed was always made, they knew Mikey's room was messy, with action figures and comics all over the floor,walls covered with posters, his bed was never made and the blanket was usually on the floor until he went to sleep. Donatello's room was an organize chaos, blue prints and pieces of scrap metal and panels laying all over a big desk, his bed was somewhere he rarely slept, so it was always made. The nights he did sleep in it meant it wouldn't be made the next morning, and the blankets would be lazily tossed onto the mattress. However, even Splinter's room they knew, it smelled of incense and was lit by candle, a mattress lay on the floor, and a bookshelf was on the other side of the room. Raphael's room however, it was unknown. His privacy was a touchy subject for him, and none of them had been in his room for years, even when he was injured, the farthest any of them got was to the door, before it was closed in their faces with with a simple, "I got it."

To say they were all curious was an understatement, everytime the wooden door was opening, eyes would try to peer around it, guessing what was in the room. Even so, the light- if there was one- was always off. Probably because he liked the darkness more than the light, however none of them would ever know since none were allowed into the room. On countless occassions they would speak about going inside when Raphael was topside, they'd plan, but never go through with it, the word privacy always locking his door tightly. It was as if he was hiding something from them all, and in a way, it sort of made them feel like they weren't trusted enough. A room was something personal, a place you feel the most comfortable, safe, and Raphael never let them in that room. Maybe that was the reason? Raphael kept things bottled up to himself, maybe he let them out in that room. If they were to go inside, maybe they'd hear the echos of his emotions that he tucked away from them? Everything about Raphael was distant, private. His emotions, his views- at times- always avoided with a mean, or smart ass retort. They had finally come to the idea that they would never see Raphael's room, that it would just be something they'd always wonder about, they would still try to see the room through that crack in the door when it was open, to try and guess what was behind the wooden gate that protected their brother from them.

Maybe one day, that door would open wide enough for them to see.

**Requests are welcome. There will probably be some sort of sequel to this because I want to write a story on Raphael's brothers seeing what his room looks like, but I thought this story just needed to end here.**

**R&R c:**


	6. Stress

**Usually I'm not one to put my OWN feelings into my writing, that's why I listen to music when I write, if someone in my story is angry I listen to more agressive music, if someone is sad, I listen to slower music. This time however, I AM going to put my feelings into something. To put it simply without bothering all you precious people: My family and me are going through a lot right now and there's a lot on my shoulders, it causes some fights and when I was sitting aroud today thinking about it (outloud to my friend might I add.) A friend of mine said, "So it's like a Raphael thing." and I thought about it for a bit, and I agreed, because it's sort of the same. SO THIS CHAPTER CAN BE SKIPPED, and it's nothing that great.**

It wasn't unusual for Raphael Hamato to say the words, "I'm goin' out." Actually, they were quite common and almost spoken every night, wether he fought with his brothers or not. No one questioned it, they all knew why he was going out, or they thought they did at least. Everytime he left his brothers would look at each other, there eyes saying all sorts of things, "Better stay up to wait for him.", "I should have a first aid kit ready.", "Will he be okay tonight?", mostly, "Why does he have to be such a hot head?" Or sometimes just an eye roll and shake of the head, which spoke more words than actually talking, or staring. However, no one was sure on the _real_ reason he went out.

Sure, sometimes he went out because he was angry, and needed a few heads to bash in, but there was so many times where he just needed to get out, needed the fresh air, and the release of being in the city, and not underground in the confined space his family called _home._ He felt trapped, locked under his brothers' and father's gaze, he felt like he always had to do something to keep everyone happy, his family always wanted him to be better, and he tried. Tried to be better for their sake, even helping around the lair and training more. It just wasn't enough it seemed, they always gave him that look, as if he wasn't good enough. That was the main reason he left, the reason he would stay out in the wee hours of the night- even if it was cold- and just sit. He didn't always fight (although he'd never tell his family that. They'd think he'd gone soft.) he usually spent the night sitting ontop of the older buildings in the city, watching the people below him. If he was lucky he could see stars, and would just relax. The best word to use would be stress, every time he walked into the lair the stress would choke him with a thick hand, squeezing his neck tighter and tighter until he couldn't take it anymore, and would finally depart from the sewers to go topside, where the wind would caress his cheek, and the noise would soothe him until he was almost asleep, then he would head back to the lair, where stress would abuse him again.

That was why he needed to go topside so much, because of the stress. The thine that made him snap at his brothers, the thing that kept him going, as much as he wanted the stress to be gone, he knew that it was the only thing that kept him going at the same time. He needed the stress, yet he needed to be free of it. That freedom would be granted in short bursts, with the simple sentence, "I'm goin' out."

**Gah, this chapter like, means a lot to me in a way xD My house is very stressful, and I'm never home, my family sorta thinks it's because I'm a teenager and want to "grow up" and do what I want, but it's not. I like my family, they just expect a lot and I can't stay at my house without getting mad super easy, and I end up leaving for a few days and coming back to stress. Thanks for reading if you did. xD**


	7. Attention

Raphael going out with Casey was anything but strange, actually, Raphael seemed to spend more "bonding" time with Casey then any of them, who was them you might be wondering? Raphael's brothers, Leonardo, Donatello, and Michelangelo. Now, sure Raphael was with them every day, but lately, he spent all of his time in his room, in training. The only time any of them seemed to actually spend time with the red masked turtle was when they went out on patrol, even then Casey was with them. Raphael would spend the night teasing their human friend, and Mikey was beginning to grow a bit jealous. He missed when it was Raph and him picking on each other. Today would probably be no different and the orange clad turtle couldn't help but sigh as Raphael came out of his room and headed towards the dojo. He had tried to gain Raphael's attebtion- mostly with bad pranks- but tgey all failed and his brother would leave even earlier to "bash some heads" with Casey.

Today however, Mikey decided that enough was enough and followed his red masked brother into the dojo. Inside Raphael was practicing his katas, using the old worn punching bag as a dummy, and the youngest turtle foubd himself watching his brother's powerful hits, that was until Raph saw him.

"What are ya doin'?"

Mikey ignored his brothers suspicious voice and grinned, "Nothing. I wanted to know if you wanted to go up top." As he said "up top" he pointed above them, to the surface.

Rapharl was silent for a few moments, "Why?"

"Just wanted to have some fun."

"Who said we could go topside?" He asked and Mikey laughed shrugging.

"No one, but are you really going to start listening now?"

The orange masked turtle grinned when his brother chuckled and nodded, using his towel to wipe the sweat off his face, "Let's go." He stated, "Maybe we'll see Casey topside too."

No! That's not what he wanted, Raphael spent way too much time with Casey, he wanted to spend time with his brother, alone. Like they used to before. Pouting he followed his brother out of the lair, and into the sewers, "Let's go a different way this time."

He ignored Raphael puzzled expression, and led him through the sewers, to the other part of town. They were currently on the rooftop of a club, a bunch of people below them, music flowed out into the city streets below them and lights flickered, causing shadows to flick over the two turtles. As he looked over to Raph, who was scanning the people below him, "What is it?" He asked his older brother, who looked back at him and shrugged.

"Do you ever want to be human?"

The youngest turtle was quiet for a moment, he'd never really thought about being human, he had his brothers to talk to, and sure, sometimes he did want to get noticed, be a hero like all the people in the comics he read. However, he never wished to be human. "Nah, do you?"

"No!"

"Chill dude, I was just asking." Mikey teased, putting his hands in the air.

"Don't ask stupid questions."

"You asked first."

"Mikey!" Raph swiped at his head, however the orange masked turtle was too fast and quickly ducked, smiling sheepishly.

"Kidding bro, kidding." He laughed, and smiled when his brother simply rolled his eyes, letting out a small sigh he smiled.

"Hey Raph, we should go to the movies."

"The movies?"

"Yeah! They have a Guardians of the Galaxy movie!"

He waited impatiently as his brother slowly shrugged and stood. He wouldn't say anything to Raphael tonight, he probably wouldn't actually say it to his brothers face, but he wanted to spend time with his red masked brother more, and he hoped things like this would happen more often.


	8. Cheating Death

He was too headstrong, too quick to act before thinking, and he always had been. So when he found himself in this situation he wasn't surprised, not really. Sure, he didn't think something like this would ever happen, but when it did, he was oddly okay with it. Deep down he knew this was how it would end for him. Lying in some dirty alley, covered in dirt, grime, and blood. No one knowing he was gone, or dying for that matter. Raphael chuckled as he clutched the wound on his side. It started right below his armpit, a long deep bloody line that went down to his waist. As he laid there, bleeding out the alley he lay in felt darker, colder. The atmosphere itself sharp enough to slice his skin, and he knew he was going to die here. Maybe his brothers would find his body, what if they didn't? What if humans found his body? His brothers would be in danger, and it would be his fault. The thought sparked whatever energy he had left and he slowly picked himself up from the ground, groaning, as the burning in his side became a fire. What little will power he had left was used trying to move a few feet forward, towards the drainage pipe, he grit his teeth at the pain that lanced up his side as his strangely numb and cold feet dragged across the cement, towards the sewer cover.

After what seemed like an eternity he reached the damned thing, and couldn't help but laugh at how pitiful it was that it took this long to move a few feet forward, he really was dying. The hardest part was probably going to be getting the metal circle up and out of his way so he could enter the sewers below and as he stood there, one arm hanging limply by his side he thought about his brothers and father. What would they think when they found him, lying there, in a pool of his own blood, lifeless? The hotheaded turtled suddenly felt really lonely, and as he pushed the sewer drain out of his way, the force causing blood to pour to the ground in small splats he laughed, it was a bitter, pained laugh. One that was filled with regret for not spending more time talking to Leo instead of fighting, for not listening to Don's rambles about whatever cool thing he had come up with, for not playing video games with Mikey, for not being good enough for his father. Tears stung his eyes but he quickly rubbed them away, smearing his own blood on his face as he started down into the sewers. His legs were too weak to hold his weight however and he slipped, trying to grab the ladder with his good hand, however it was slick with blood, and he quickly slipped, falling straight down into the sewer below him with a groan. He never had a chance to close the grate above him, causing a dim light to surround him from the streetlight that was next to the alley.

Sitting in the cold, dark sewers waiting to die. He'd never really thought about it, yet he didn't seem to mind. He knew this would happen one day, and was just happy it happened to him before any of his brothers. The silence around him only made him lonelier and he found himself longing for one of Donnie's rants, or Leo's lectures, maybe even Mikey's loud obnoxious shouting. As he lay there, bleeding out and dying, he swore he heard Mikey's voice, but shook it off as just his mind making things up. He was dying after all. However the voice seemed to get louder, and closer until the hallucination began to get too real, and he felt a warm three fingered hand on his shoulder. "Raphie!"

"Donnie! Leo! Over here!" In his last minutes awake, Raph looked up at the blur of green and orange.

"Hurry! Guys hurry!"

His eyes slipped closed as he felt two hands on either side of his face, "Raph! Hey hey, buddy c'mon! Open your eyes, c'mon Raphie…"

"Sorry…guys…" He murmured, falling unconscious to the hectic bustle of his three brothers above him.

Donnie swallowed, his eyes never once left Raphael's view. "We need to get home. NOW." He said as he felt Raphael's weak pulse.

"Is he...?"

"He's still alive Leo, but he won't be for too much longer if we don't get him some blood and take care of that wound of his."

Leo nodded, and picked Raphael up, carrying him piggyback style.

As they ran home Donnie thought back on the night's earlier events. Raph was going out for his usual meeting with Casey, when he didn't come home a few hours later they didn't really think anything of it, Raphael lost track of time a lot when he was out with Casey. So the four of them went on with their usual business. Leo sat on the couch next to Mikey, reading a book, Mikey was playing a game, and Donnie was in his lab working on his latest invention. Splinter was in his room, doing whatever he did. They didn't really begin to worry until a bruised and beaten Casey limped into the lair, mumbling something about foot soldiers before passing out. Splinter had told them to go and find their brother, while he tended to Casey. They had been searching for about two hours, but Raph was nowhere to be seen and they were running out of time to find him. Daylight was approaching fast, and they had yet to find a clue. How it happened, he didn't know, and he didn't really care. The three of them had finally decided they needed to go home, come up with a plan, and they would return to the surface, but that's when they heard it, the sound of something coming into the sewer, Mikey being the fastest had taken the lead, Leo and Donnie quickly following.

When Don had saw Mikey leaning over the too still, bleeding silhouette of his brother he had quickly run to his side, and seeing the damage he knew they had to move fast. By the time they had gotten their fallen brother home he knew he'd have to work fast.

Wasting time was something he couldn't do right now, everything had to be done correctly and quickly if he wanted to save his brother. He went through a checklist of what he needed, him and Leo running into the lab while Mikey ran to tell Splinter what had happened. "I need water, towels, and an IV!" He yelled, and Leo wasted no time in getting what he needed after placing their dying brother on the table. Donnie wasted no time in getting what he needed, cleaning the wound- he was sort of happy Raph was unconscious for this, the purple masked turtle had no medication to stop the pain. Once the gaping wound was clean he began stitching it together, it took about ten minutes. "Here you go Donnie." Leo said as he placed the towels and water down.

"Thanks Leo."

Splinter was in the living space of the lair, trying to keep Mikey from running into the lab. Don had told him to do so, if Mikey was in here he'd get in the way, and the only reason Leo was in here was because he had the same blood type as his hotheaded brother. "Well, let's get him fixed up." Once Donnie had gotten a blood transfusion going he stared on the easier part of his job: Cleaning Raphael off.

His brother had blood smeared on his face, and his hands and entire left side were covered in the sticky red substance. Right now he'd clean him off, then he'd wait. There wasn't anything else they could do for Raphael, and, in a few hours he should be okay. His injuries didn't seem to be anything internal. The brainiac wet a rag in warm water, gently rubbing it over his brother's face, washing the dried blood away, "Will he be okay..?"

"I think so." Donnie replied, looking over to his concerned older brother, "He just needs time to rest."

Leo nodded, and Donnie continued to scrub the blood off of his brother. Once he was clean he looked at Leo, who had Raph's blood all over his shell, "You should go take a shower bro." Don spoke up, "Get the blood off of you."

"I will in a bit." He muttered, looking down at Raph, and Don sighed.

"You can come back when you're done."

Leo was about to retort but before he could Don gave him a look that meant if he didn't leave no his own, he'd be kicked out and Leo quickly stood, leaving the lab. Once Leo left the room, Mikey and Splinter came in. Splinter's ears lay flat against his head when his eyes lay on Raph's broken form, but he said nothing, instead he placed himself in front of his son, and placed a hand on his shoulder. Mikey stood next to Splinter, looking down at his bandaged brother.

"He'll be fine guys."

That night they all slept in the lab with their brother, all of them wanting to be there when he woke up. He didn't know it just yet, but the red masked turtle had cheated death.


	9. invincible

**This is a really short chapter, it was just something I was thinking about. I might make something that adds more to this, I might not. I am gonna make another one with Donnie's feelings and opinions towards being the only doctor of the household, but that will be later. Hope you like the chapter!**

He knew this day would come. The day when their _invincible_ brother wasn't so invincible, that his last breath would come from a mistake, or just bad luck, protecting his brothers was Raph's thing, he however, he wasn't a true warrior. Sure, he was strong, he could fight, he was a ninja after all, and a very good one at that. He just didn't have a warrior trait, he'd rather find different ways of solving things, would rather do something else. So this day wasn't a surprise. What they weren't expecting was for it to be so soon. With something so simple, so easy and ordinary that it would seem fake. Yet here three brothers sat, staring down at their brother's body. His skin a dull green, caked in dried mud and dirt. His body limp, lifeless it would seem if it wasn't for the slow rise and fall of his chest. Three brothers helped their dying brother up, and led him home to their father who waited impatiently by the door. He had known something was wrong the moment his sons left the lair. Now only three were standing, the fourth lying limp in the eldest's arms.

So here they all were, staring at their not so invincible brother, with no idea of what to do. What could they do? They weren't doctors, nor were they as smart as the brother who was currently dying. They didn't know what to do, how could they, when the invincible one wasn't so invincible anymore?


	10. First Kill

Raphael sat in his room, staring down at his shaking green hands. He was tired, and hungry, but he wasn't really paying attention to that. No, his mind was elsewhere, still in the dirty alleys in the city, or more specifically, 203 Northern St. That's where this all started, the three street thugs picking on the young girl. The fight that ended with red spraying all over green, all over the cement and brick walls. He couldn't stop replaying the fight in his head. He had been patrolling with his brothers like he always did, and three punks weren't really a challenge. However, when the three have guns and you have to protect a hostage, it's not that easy. He had no choice in the end. A man with black hair and a yellow streak in it had grabbed the innocent girl, holding a gun to her head.

If he didn't kill him, he would have killed her. He hadn't even meant for the hit to kill, but it did. He had threw a sai, and it lodge itself into the man's throat. The girl had screamed, and ran upon her kidnapper dropping to the ground in a lifeless heap. Raphael however, he had stood there, frozen, the man's blood splattered on his plastron and face. He was trembling, the sai that had been lodged in his throat only moments before now lay, forgotten in the alley as his hands pressed against the punk's neck to try and stop the bleeding. The hot headed turtle watched the man's blood seep between his fingers and he knew it was too late. However this kid was, he was dead now, and Raphael was the one who killed him.

That's how his brothers found him, covered in some street punk's blood, holding his shaky hands to a corpse's neck in an attempt to stop the blood flow. Leo had told both Mikey and Don to go back to the lair, and that he'd take care of Raph. Leo had grabbed Raphael's discarded sai and removed his younger brother's hands from the punk's throat, placing the blood sai in his hand and leading him home.

Raphael had been in his room ever since. His hands were clean, he had cleaned them in the sewers before coming home, but he could still see where the blood had been, he could still smell the bitter iron. His sai lay, embedded in his punching bag where he threw it, just like it had been embedded in some kid's neck a few hours before. The thought made him cringe and he growled, shoving his pillow over his face. It wasn't like he wanted to kill the kid, but he didn't really have a choice!

"Raph?"

He sighed, opening his door just enough for Mikey to see him, "Whatisit?"

"Dinner's ready dude." He grinned and Raph frowned.

"M'not hungry." He replied before closing his door.

He stood in the middle of his room, staring at the blood that still covered his plastron. He hadn't had a chance to wash the blood off anything other than his hands when he got home, as soon as he came in the lair, everyone's gaze was on him, and he ended up taking refuge in his room. Away from his family's stares. By now the red blood had turned a brown coppery colour, but that didn't mean it was any less there. The look in the kid's eyes before he fell to the ground. The hatred, fear, pain, it was too much, too soon for him to die. Yet the girl was too young to die as well. Before his thoughts could twist and shift into anything darker there was another knock at his door, and Raphael answered quickly, in dire need of a distraction. This time it was Leo. "Hey."

"…Hey." Raphael muttered, blinking and stepping out of his room when he saw that Leo made no intentions of walking away. "What do you want?" He asked.

He tried to ignore his older brother's eyes gazing at his plastron and face, he tried to ignore the fact that some dead punk's blood was on him, he tried to ignore the fact he _killed_ someone. It didn't last that long though. "I wanted to spar."

"You wanted to spar? At dinner time?" He wasn't stupid. What did Leo really want? The hot head wasn't in the mood to deal with his brother trying to be all sneaky right now.

"Okay- okay. I wanted to talk. "

"Nothing to talk about here." Just as Raphael turned and was about to open his door he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"It's not easy, taking a life away."

He froze, glaring at Leo, "I'm fine Leo. Why does everyone think something's wrong?!"

"I never said anything was wrong Raphael. All I said was it's not easy to kill someone. It'll be a burden on your shoulders forever."

"Gee, thanks for the pep talk Leo." The hot head shot back, glaring at his older brother who hadn't really made the problem any easier- not that he wanted him to! He was fine.

"You learn to live with it though. I know it'll be hard, you'll be plagued by it for days, but in the end you did what was best."

"I killed someone Leo!"

"You didn't want to though, you did the last thing you could to save someone." By this point Raphael was trembling with both anger and fear, he could still see the boy – dying- in front of him.

"Raph, everyone dies. They choose how they want to die, some do. That man had more than one time to get away, he brought it upon himself. You did good."

"That doesn't make it okay."

"It doesn't, but there's nothing you can change about it now."

Raphael paused, staring at Leo for a moment. He was right. Crying over it wouldn't change it. He swallowed thickly and looked at his brother, "I-…Yer right." He mumbled, and Leo smiled, patting his back.

"Now why don't you go clean up? Splinter wants to talk to you."

He nodded, he'd get through today first, then, he'd get through tomorrow. He could get over this, it's not like he wanted to kill. There was a difference between wanting something, and needing something. He knew that, and he'd learn from this experience.

**Whoa. This chapter is actually really dark. o.o Alrighty then, here it is! Next will be a chapter someone suggested. So, it might take awhile to write. If you're reading this you should check out my story a shot for you!**

**R&R GUYS**


	11. A sick brother

**I made this for fun. I have like three different ideas for future chapters. c: I can't wait to get them posted. **

**I own no turtles, rats, or TMNT.**

Donnie knew something was up when he woke up to a throbbing head and a shaking body. It wasn't a migraine- lucky for him- and he was cold, a bit too cold, he felt like he was sitting in some meat locker when he should be feeling like a Popsicle melting from the heat of the summer. He was sick, and he knew what he needed most was rest. However, he also had a lot to do today, and April was visiting so he decided to take an Advil and worry about his health later. As he trudged into the kitchen, Leo parted from the newspaper April left them and looked up at Don, "Hey bro." He said, before looking back at the newspaper. The purple masked turtle mumbled a tired 'hey,' which wasn't unusual considering he didn't start to wake up until his second cup of coffee. He poured himself a cup of said liquid as he looked at the numbers on the microwave that read, _7:30 AM._Training started in an hour so where were the rest of his siblings? Leo, as if reading his mind spoke again, "Raph got held up in a storm when he was with Casey last night. He's at April's, Mikey on the other hand just hasn't woken up yet."

"I see..." Don murmured, taking a sip of the black liquid in his cup and sighing as warmth spread through his limbs.

It was one of the rare mornings where the lair was quiet, usually around this time Raph and Mikey would be picking on each other while they ate breakfast and got ready for training, however this morning the only noise in the lair was the soft swishing of Leo turning the newspaper and the coffee pot. It was a nice change, and Donnie was happy for it with the headache he still had. "Is training canceled?" He mumbled as he took in every detail on the wooden table he sat at.

"Postponed- Just until Raphael gets home." Leo looked away from his newspaper, raising a brow as Donnie continued staring at the table.

The little scratches had always been there, but he could point out a few that him and his brothers had caused. Mostly Mikey and Raph though, there was one or two he knew Leo made.

Thankfully- Leo didn't say anything about his spacing off. Donnie wasn't a morning person, so his lack of communication wasn't that unusual. Actually, Don usually didn't talk that much until after his coffee. This morning however, his meaning for not talking was different however. Or at least that's what the saliva that was building up in his mouth made him feel like. He grunted as he felt his stomach knot up. It only took a minute for him to shoot out of his chair and into the bathroom where he emptied his stomach.

Donatella was the most stubborn of his brothers when it came to his health and despite the logical part of his brain telling him he needed to rest, his pride told him to just play it off, and get his work done first. "Ugghh" the purple masked turtle groaned as he stood from where he sat in front of the toilet.

His head was pounding from his jerky movement from before and his skin was clammy and sweaty. As he stared at his reflection he knew his brothers would catch on fast, but maybe if he pulled on of his rare, "Donnie's in a bad mood so he'll be in his lab don't come in." cards he'd be able to get away with it, then once his work was done he could rest and get better. This-at the time- seemed to be like a good idea, and with nothing else to worry about, the brainiac turtle splashed his slightly flushed face with some cold water and returned to his coffee mug downstairs.

"Are you-"

Before Leo could finish Donnie cut him off, "I'm fine. Mikey made me try one of his experiment meals."

"Sorry bro." Leo said with sympathy, although Don could see him hiding a smile and he rolled his eyes.

"I'll be in my lab," He huffed, picking his mug up and trudging out of the room, to his lab where he would remain for the rest of the day.

Now, even if his brother knew Don was sick, they wouldn't try to bother him that much, not yet anyway, Not until he had at least finished his coffee. No one bothered Donnie until he was done with his coffee. He took another sip, listening to his noisy younger brother awakening. Mikey was always giddy and hyper, even in the mornings. It was almost inhuman how happy the orange masked turtle could be. He flinched when he heard a loud crash coming from outside his lab doors. Mikey must have dropped his cereal bowl again, how the glass bowl never managed to shatter is something he found himself thinking about a little bit too much.

Even with the doors to the lab closed, the sick ninja could still hear his brother talking to Leo about some new comic book he read, and the purple masked turtle could only sigh and lay his head on his desk. He added soundproofing the lair to his mental checklist and rubbed his temples in an attempt to make the throbbing in his head more manageable. Give it about another hour, and Raph would be here. Although if he could barely get through the morning so far, how would he get through training?

Raphael had gotten home about thirty minutes ago. Luckily for him, Splinter was still meditating, and the medicine he had taken had begun to kick in. Donnie usually hated medicine, it made him groggy, and made concentrating on his work harder than it had to be. Leo however, still seemed to notice something was up, and refused to let it go unnoticed.

"Don you've been acting weird all day."

"I'm just tired Leo." He shot back, but the blue masked turtle didn't seem to believe it.

"I know something's up bro."

"Nothing's up Leo, really..." The youngest of the two sighed, pressing his thumbs into his eyelids to try and relieve the pressure building up in the front of his skull.

Leo folded his arms across his plastron and frowned, "I'm not dumb Donnie. What's going on?"

"I'm just feeling a little under the weather."

"So you're sick?"

"No, I'm just not feeling good."

"That's what you always say." Leo retorted, smirking when his brother was about to snap a smart-ass reply back but found he couldn't. "Exactly. Did you take anything?"

"Yeah. Just waiting for it to kick in."

"Good."

Don nodded, and turned back to his computer, trying to find where he left off on the latest article he had been reading. "Why don't you rest? That will probably help."

"I don't need to rest Leo, I'm too busy to rest." Don knew his brother was right, but he at least needed to finish today's chore list before he could take it easy. He turned his chair the other way, so he was facing Leo. "I'm already behind on schedule."

"C'mon Donnie. No one's going to get mad at you for taking a day off. It's not like anything will happen."

He grunted at his older brother, "You never know."

"One day won't hurt Donnie."

This time, Donatello didn't respond. No, he turned back to his computer, and continued his article. Leo ended up sighing and walking out, leaving the sick turtle to his lonesome again, not that he had a problem with that. No one disturbed him for another hour, gin which he spent trying to pay attention to his work, an not his aching body. He ended up getting at least twenty minutes of work done through out that hour, and the rest of it was spent lying his head on the desk in agony.

Mikey popped his head into the room, peeking at his brother from the door. "Hey Don?"

The purple masked turtled looked up from where his head was lying, "Yes Mikey?"

"Whoa, you don't look so good." The youngest stated, closing the lab door behind him and walking over to his brother's side.

"I'm fine." Don insisted yet again and Mikey raised a brow.

"You don't look so fine."

"Just a little tired. I've been really busy..." Usually Mikey would have teased him, his younger brother however must have sensed something wasn't right because instead he stayed quiet and just plopped himself on the lab table across from Donnie, kicking his feet as he leaned back on his arms.

"Should you like, rest then?"

"I don't have the time. There's too much to do around here." Came his blunt response and Mikey huffed.

"No one will care if you take a break."

"I don't have time for breaks Mikey. I still have to fix Raph's phone, the fridge, and upgrade our security system."

"But-"

"No butts! I'll rest when I've finished my work for the day."

Mikey didn't say much else, just shrugged and left the room, leaving Don back to pretend to be working. He knew he had a fever, and was rather sick but right now work came first. Sitting up and looking at his computer he began to type away on the keyboard, working on the security of their home. Two hours went by and Don was exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to lay in bed and sleep, but alas, he still had a lot to do, and that meant no resting- yet. That's when Raphael decided to stop by, storming into the lab.

"Yo Don, did you fix m- You look like shit."

The purple clad turtle snorted, "Thanks." He mumbled, rolling his eyes and laying his chin on his hand. "What is it you wanted?"

"Ya sick'er somethin'?"

"Yes Raph. I'm sick." He snapped and the hotheaded turtle blinked.

"Why don't ya rest then?"

"I'm too busy!" He shouted, tired of repeating himself.

Raphael only scowled and shrugged, "Fine. Do whateva ya want, but I ain't gonna help ya when ya get worse."

The third oldest turtle shrugged, glaring at his computer in irritation. He honestly didn't care right now. He knew he was sick, but he also had a lot to get done today, deciding not to waste anymore time Don grabbed his toolbox. He'd go work on the battleshell.

Leo sat at the table, reading a book April had given him. He hadn't really paid much attention to books until April started bringing them, and now he spent most of his free time reading them. Currently he was trying to ignore the loud clangs of pits hitting each other, Mikey had decided to make soup for dinner tonight- probably because a certain sick, purple masked turtle- and it was not a quiet meal. Every five minutes there was some type of noise, until Mikey finally gave up on his own creation and instead used a few cans of chicken noodle soup.

This turtle wasn't complaining anytime soon though. The youngest turtle's creations usually were awful. He watched from over his book as Mikey checked the soup every few minutes, spinning the noodles around the pot they sat in. "Don's sick." A rough voice commented from behind him.

Both Mikey and Leo turned around only to face Raphael, who was stretching his arm and looming over to where the lab was. "We know." Leo replied and Raph looked back at his two brothers.

"We should do somethin' he always waits and ends up bein' sick fer a week."

"I'm making soup!" Mikey chimed in and the sai wielding ninja grunted, falling back into one of the old wooden chairs.

Taking this as his que, Leo put his book down and leaning on his elbows. "Not that, Mike."

"What do you suggest then?" The leader of the turtle asked and his younger red masked brother shrugged.

"Get'em to rest."

Leo knew his brother was right, they'd all been telling Don that. However, their brother was rather stubborn and they knew he'd have to get a push in the right direction. He hummed and nodded, the three turtles watching their brainiac brother walk out of his lab, and into the elavator that led to the garage with a bag of tools.

"Sounds like a good idea to me dude."

"But how will we get him to rest?" Leo asked, and Raph smirked.

"Leave it ta me."

Now, usually Leo didn't mind what Raphael did in his free time, as long as he didn't put himself, or any of them in danger. If Raphael wanted to mess with one of his brothers, the blue masked turtle decided it was none of his business. This time however, he didn't think Raphael should really be messing with their purple masked grudge holding brother. Not when he was sick, and in a bad mood. "Maybe you shouldn-"

"Don't worry Fearless." He replied, walking off. Mikey's glance changed to Leo and he blinked.

"Dude, even _I_ know not to mess with Don right now." He chirped, and a smile spread across his face, "This is gonna be wicked."

Mikey wasn't helping this situation. At all. "Well...I guess..." the oldest trailed on, shrugging his shoulders. Did Raphael have a death wish?

It was dark in the garage, too dark for Donnie to be working on something that is. His brother did come up with here a toolbox didn't he? Either that or he already went back to his lab. Just as the red clad turtle was about to leave, he saw a flash of light coming from inside the battleshell. "Got ya." He mumbled to himself and smirked, opening the green painted door and climbing up and into the armored truck. "Yo Don!"

He called as the light from before was shut off. Great, now it was completely pitch black in the crowded vehicle. He carefully walked across the floor, almost tripping twice of whatever had been lying in the floor. Now his hands were sliding against the upper side of the battleshell, Don had installed a light over here somewhere..."Donnie! This ain't funny." He growled, and again received no response. "Don?" He called his brother's name again, a tad bit of worry beginning to seep into his stomach when he still got no response.

What felt like an eternity later, his hand managed to hit a small button, and a dull light filled the battleshell. Sighing softly Raph looked around the truck. On the ground lay Don's box of tools- probably what he managed to trip over- and a certain purple masked turtle- who was sleeping. A smile crept across his face at the sight. "Yo Don." He called as he knelt down next to his brother, tapping his shoulder gently. "This ain't yer bed."

"Wha-?" His younger brother opened his eyes, "Oh shell!"

Laughing at his brother's sudden panicked expression as he shot up and gathered his tools, Raph put a hand on his shoulder. "I think it's time fer ya to stop being stubborn and go to bed."

"But-"

"If ya don't lay down I'm gonna knock ya out." Raphael snapped, and his younger brother frowned.

"If I don't finish my list for today, I'll be behind for weeks!"

Raphael knew his brother was stubborn, but he had had an idea that he was planning- until he found Don asleep in the batteshell that is. "Wouldn't it be easier fer ya to work if you weren't sick though? What if ya mess something up?"

That made his younger brother pause. Raphael _did_ have a point. It was best to be level headed when working, mistakes could happen. It wasn't common for Raph to make sense of things like this, he wasn't much of a thinker, not that he didn't think, he just didn't care for thinking his options out. This time however, he did.

"I guess you have a point.." Donatello trailed on, rubbing the back of his head and Raph nodded.

When Leo saw his brother's emerge from the elevator not even ten minutes later, he had figured Raphael's plan had failed and began to mentally prepare for the next week of Don torturing Raphael with his grudge, but Donnie ended up going up to his room, and Raphael came back to the kitchen, where both himself, and Mikey still sat.

"What happened?" Mikey asked, leaning on the edge of his seat, Leo however just eyed Raph, who smirked.

"I just told'em to go to bed."

"There's no way. We told him the same thing!" Leo sputtered.

Raphael laughed, shrugging his shoulders. "Ya just gotta tell'em a certain way is all."

Mikey grinned, "What did you say? What did you say!" He asked excitedly, but Raphael shook his head.

"Nothin' too important."

Leo rolled his eyes when Raphael left the kitchen, and strolled into the dojo to practice. His brother could be so smug sometimes. Mikey sighed and pouted before running over to the television to watch some horror movie marathon that'd he stay up for all night no doubt. Now that everything was somewhat silent again, he picked his book up and began to read.


	12. teenagers

**Time for a little bit lighter stuff. Hehe**

**I OWN NO TURTLES.**

When April first met the turtles and Splinter- and accepted them- she always thought she'd wake up, and figure out it was just a dream. At first, that's what she wanted to happen, the idea of suddenly waking up and still having her job with Baxter Stockman, and normal life was a wonderful thought. After a few weeks however she found herself getting attached to the four brother mutant brothers and their father. Not only had they saved her, but they helped her out when she needed it. They were like family now, she no longer felt awkward with their appearance. Most of her free time was spent with them. Whether it was helping Donnie in the lab, or cooking with Mikey, she enjoyed every moment of it.

However, that did not mean it was easy to live with them. They were teenagers, and crazy at that. The days would be spent building, upgrading, practicing, and fooling around. Today was no different apparently thought April as she walked out of her room, only to see Raph and Mikey arm wrestling while Leo and Don looked on in interest. A slice of pizza lay on the table next to them. "What're you guys up to?" She chimed even though she already had a clue as to what was going on.

Don replied without taking his eyes off of his two competing brothers. "Whoever wins gets the last slice of pizza."

"Really? What about you two?" She asked, motioning to both Don and Leo.

It took a moment for one of them to reply, and April almost walked away, but Leo finally answered, "Well, we already lost…"

"That's not a shocker." The redhead hummed, looking at Raphael. His build was much bigger than his brothers.

She sighed softly and continued into the living room, where Splinter was watching his shows. "

The wise rat was rather drawn into his soaps and hadn't even realized she was now in the room with him. Or maybe he did and he was just ignoring her for the time being, either way she was okay with it. Now with a book in hand the redhead began to read. That's when there was a loud crash, and a groan. "What was that?!" She gasped, and spun around, staring at Mikey, who was lying on the floor next to his chair next to a Smirking Raph. She should have known she wouldn't be able to actually read when they were here. "I win."

"No fair Raph!"

"Was to fair."

"Was not!"

Splinter exhaled slowly and sent April a sympathetic look, she however smiled and shook her head, "Don't worry about it. They're teenagers!"

The both of them did their best to ignore four teens in the kitchen who were fighting over who got the last slice of pizza. Again.

It was around nine, April was sitting on the couch after just having left the shower, Splinter was in the guest room meditating, Leo, Don, Mikey, Raph and Casey- who had come over uninvited- were sitting around the television, watching some new show they had begun to air called The Walking Dead. She ran her fingers through her wet hair, watching Mikey cling to Leo as a zombie jumped in front of the screen.

"Dude! This show is awesome!"

"I can't believe we're actually wasting time watching this…" Raph huffed.

April smiled, she knew both him and Casey wanted to watch the game, but Mikey got T.V privileges tonight. "It's not that bad Raph." Don admitted, and Raphael glared at him.

"Not as good as the hockey game we could be watching." Casey shot back and Mikey huffed.

"This is so much better than that!"

April sighed and looked at the guest bedroom. She could really use some meditation right now…Knocking on the guest bedroom she waited until she heard the giant rat's soft, "Come in," before entering.

"Ah, April." He smiled and she smiled back.

"Think I can meditate with you? I don't understand how you deal with all four of them every hour of the day." She teased lightly and they both laughed.

"I find myself wondering the same thing sometimes." He laughed, and made room for her.

April spent that night meditating with the turtles' sensei.

**This was supposed to be short. I like the idea of April and Splinter chillin' when our favourite turtles get a bit too noisy for April's tastes. **


	13. Stranger

**Hey guys! I've been getting requests through reviews, but I can't keep up! . Could you please PM me your requests that way I can work on them? Haha just title the message as Request and I'll get right to it! C: BTW slow uploads for awhile because I'm currently moving into a new house and my glasses are broken! I have to sit a good three inches from my screen to see, haha. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I actually loved writing this. I've been putting a lot of my emotions into writing lately and I'm not disappointed! What do you guys think? c: This chapter has sensitive material. **

The room was pitch black, not a single light was shown, not even from the windows- considering the room was in the sewers and there were no windows. Unlike the rest of the lair, this room was cold, and empty. The door locked by an invisible force no one dared to break. This room belonged to Raphael Hamato, the second oldest ninja turtle- who liked his privacy as much as he liked going topside, which was saying something. This force field of privacy didn't stop his brothers from staring at the door however, the door that was just a tad bit crooked from being slammed one two many times by an angry red masked turtle. Tonight Raph wasn't home, which meant the other three turtles were free to do whatever without having to worry about setting the hot headed brother of theirs off. Where was Raphael Hamato you might be asking? He was topside with his closest friend- Casey Jones, and ex hockey player who had to quit due to a playing injury. What did the Raphael do in all his hours topside? None of them were exactly sure. They all just assumed that the hot head of the group, and family went out with his hotheaded friend to look for fights.

Even when they were younger, Raphael had always been more violent, and fierce than his brothers, he had always had an attitude and sometimes Don wondered if Raphael could have been a snapping turtle, because he sure had the attitude of one. He was always ready for a fight, so the only logical answer for him being topside would be cleaning the New York streets of gang members, thugs, and petty street criminals. None of the red masked turtle's brothers had gotten close enough to know of any emotions other than anger and annoyance from their brother, so they couldn't see him doing anything else. They all knew Raph so well, they knew exactly what buttons to push to keep him ranting for hours, and they knew some ways to keep him from getting angry. That's all they really knew, however, they didn't really know _him_. They just knew how to _deal_ with him.

It was strange in a way, that they all just wondered what Raphael was like, but never actually asked about him, he had always been a private person. While Leo knew that Don liked to engineer things, and Mikey liked to play video games, and Splinter liked to meditate, he also knew they liked other things, Don liked to play chess online when he had free time, and Mikey liked to cook. Splinter happened to like watching dramas on television. Meanwhile all he really knew about Raph was he liked to fight. They had tried to learn more about their brother through holidays, on Christmas getting him a diversity of items, however every time one of them asked, "Do you like it?" He'd just stare at them awkwardly, as if they were talking in some weird language. Soon they stopped asking altogether, giving up on the idea.

That's why when Raph had gotten home that night; they had all been surprised when he allowed them to see into his life. Passed the wall known as privacy, and into his room. It hadn't really been that simple however. The red masked turtle was never simple, that much they knew. He spoke in a certain code, and they knew Raph made what they said have a deeper meaning. It had all started when he first got home that night. The night was a bit calmer than others, Leo was reading next to Mikey, who was playing a game, and Don was sitting on the other side of Michelangelo, toying with the battleshell remote, so when Raphael came home at ten, a good four hours before he usually did, the three of them had all been curious, but their brother didn't even seem to realize them, he walked right passed and went into his room. That's when worry began to settle in their stomachs. For Raphael rarely ever came home early, and when he did there was a reason he'd give them. Maybe the weather was just too bad, or he was injured, but this time there was no exclamation. A dreadful and weary silence filled the lair, and it almost seemed as if when Raphael walked by, their home became darker. Of course they knew if he was in his room, he was avoiding them, the only other time he went in his room was because he was tired, angry, or wanted to be alone. None of them even bothered thinking about knocking on the door.

Something was obviously bothering Raphael, and if he went to his room, he wanted space, and they were more than willing to give their brother space. However as the night dragged on, and the second oldest turtle's door had yet to open, the three remaining brothers had begun to worry. It was already two in the morning, and they hadn't seen him once since he got home. They all knew something was up, Raphael's behavior was too strange, but there hadn't been a fight all day, and they were trying to keep it that way.

At some point, they realized that the fighting wouldn't matter if it meant Raph could be in danger, so Leo being the leader, had taken the role of knocking on the red masked turtle's door, they had all been waiting patiently, and that patience was wearing away like a rope, that with age became a small, damaged thread. It took a moment for Raphael to open the door, and when he did he was greeted with a sight he thought he'd never really see with his brother. The turtle famous for being the strongest was standing there, a dazed look in his eyes, his golden pupils didn't stand out against the red whites of his eyes. Raphael Hamato had been crying. Leo didn't know why it was so shocking to him, they all cried at one point or another, that's when he realized. Leonardo had never seen Raphael cry. Not once, even when they were little. None of them had actually really thought that Raph could cry, they all knew somewhere deep down he did, and had, but none of them really took in the fact that their strongest brother also cried. He was just a hothead. Right?

"What is it fearless?"

Remembering why he came, Leo swallowed. "You uh…got home pretty early."

"And?"

"Just wonderin' why." It was obvious Raphael wasn't ready to talk, he was tense, and strangely…emotionless? It was like he wasn't really there, his mind somewhere else.

"Called it a night a little earlier is all." Raphael mumbled, looking down at the ground.

Something was up, never before had Leo seen Raphael so…open? No, that wasn't the word, he wasn't open, emotions still locked away tightly, but he seemed to be expressing more than what he usually did. Enough for Leo to know something was wrong, really wrong.

"Why?" Leo pushed his brother for an answer and his usually smart ass, "mind-your-own-business-or-I'll-hit-you" brother didn't yell, or snap at him.

"Jus' some stuff happened and…"

Trembling. Raphael Hamato was _trembling._ It was something they all saw the hotheaded turtle do a lot, but this was different. He wasn't angry, his posture was tense, but it was a different type of tense. He wasn't like a spring ready to jump, no, he was more like a kid that had just seen a monster; too scared to run. He was like a deer in headlights.

"I tried to stop her, Leo." He mumbled, "I tried to save her."

Raph's gaze fell on his hands, and Leo's eyes followed. It took a few moments for Leo to register that there was blood on his younger brother's hands, deep, dark red blood, it almost looked black. The leader felt worried, but he knew it wasn't Raphael's blood, he had no wounds, didn't look to be in any pain. So who's blood was it? "Tried to stop who?"

"She was just…sittin' there. I tried but she- I-"

"Who—"

"I didn't know how to— Dammit Leo!"

Everytime he went to talk Raphael what cut him off with half finished sentences that made no sense, and he was still confused. All he knew right now was that Raphael's strange behavior had to do with this girl. "Raphael!" He snapped.

The only time any of them used their full names was when they were either in trouble, or well, in trouble. Hearing his full name seemed to snap Raphael back into reality, and he took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Okay bro, now what are you talking about?" Leo asked, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I—Leo she…I dunno who she was." He whispered, and Leo nodded, giving his brother the time he needed to continue.

"Casey and me were jus' foolin' around. Lookin' fer some creeps ta knock out, and this girl was sittin on the roof all sad like. Casey was in the alley below me, fightin' some dumbass who tried ta steal a car radio." Raph continued, he was shifting, and looking around a lot and Leo began to worry. "She wasn't okay. She wasn't okay Leo, I tried to stop her but she just—" He looked at his bloody hands. "I told her not to do it. It wasn't worth it ya know! She didn't listen. She didn't…I couldn't…"

Leo put the pieces together, and his eyes widened. Had Raphael…He looked back at his shaking brother. "She…killed herself?" He asked and Raph's entire face paled.

Sighing softly, Leo knew the answer. "Let's get you washed up, buddy." He said, leading his younger brother who was still shaking to the bathroom. It all made sense now, Raphael's strange behavior, the reason he came home so early and hadn't left his room. Raph, had a thing with burdening himself with the world's problems. That's what Master Splinter said. Raphael bore the world's weight on his shoulders, and he could only guess it was because of his red masked brother's protectiveness. Ever since they were little Raphael wanted to protect those around him, family or otherwise. While Don, Mikey, and himself wanted to protect the people of the city, and family, they weren't as vicious as Raphael was about the job. It was something Raphael seemed born to do. Yet it seemed so foreign, Raphael just didn't seem like the type to get…so upset over something like this. Actually, Leo couldn't really see him anything other than annoyed or angry. Wetting a rag with warm water he handed it to his brother. "Here you go."

He didn't respond, and Leo found himself watching the sai wielding turtle wipe the blood off his shaking hands, staring at the wall as he did so. He couldn't help but feel bad for Raph; it couldn't be easy to see something like that. Especially when he was the one who tried to stop her, and ended up trying to save her life as well. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked softly. Any other time the blue masked turtle wouldn't ask such a stupid question, he knew his brother would get mad, yet this time- this time he just had to.

"Ya. Ya. I just…" Raphael gave him a crooked smile, before looking back at the ground, "I think I need some rest s'all."

By now the bloody towel lay discarded in the corner of the bathroom, and Raph had stopped shaking. He was still tense, and nervous, but not as bad as before. Figuring that was his hint to leave, Leo nodded, "M'kay. I'll let you rest then."

Picking up the towel on the way out, Leo frowned. How long had Raphael sat there? With her body trying to stop the bleeding even though he knew it was already too late? "Leo!" Turning back her looked at his shaken brother.

"Yeah Raph?"

"Ya think ya can…Stay in my room tonight?" He asked a bit nervously.

Raphael's room? None of them had been in his room, he'd never even allow them to see inside. Or so they thought, they never really asked to come in either. For all they know they could have been allowed in, but Raphael was the one to suggest he come inside. It was both something that made him happy, for it meant Raph had some sort of trust towards him, but at the same time, it had taken about twelve years to build up that trust. They were family, shouldn't he have been trusted already? "Sure…" Leo said hesitantly and Raph simply nodded, going into his room.

Taking the towel downstairs he looked at his two remaining brothers, telling them that he'd explain in the morning before going back upstairs and standing in front of Raph's door. He had been invited in…but should he knock anyway? Should he just walk in? Frowning he shifted back and forth on his feet impatiently. In the end he ended up knocking, but the door pushed open and Leo found himself inside of the most unknown area in the lair; Raphael's room.

His red masked brother was lying in his hammock staring at the ceiling, and Leo made himself comfortable on the floor, his brother being nice enough to leave a pillow and blanket. As Leo looked around the room, and saw the sports posters, and CD rack with a bunch of different albums, the small TV with a bunch of horror movies stacked neatly, and a worn punching bag in the corner he realized something. He knew nothing about Raphael Hamato, second oldest ninja turtle, his brother.

Fifteen years they had known Raphael, yet he was like a stranger.

**This story was made for a friend of mine who sadly, lost his friend to suicide. R.I.P Samantha. I have been thinking of it constantly, and I needed to get my feelings out, so I tried my hardest in this. There will be better chapters in the future, I promise. (By better I mean happier.) **


	14. Ironic

It was a mess honestly, I don't know how I let my guard down, maybe it was because it was one of the few times we were actually getting along, or maybe it was the fact that I had just gotten back on my feet after having the flu for a week, there was a chance both were the reason, however it wasn't an excuse. If I hadn't let my guard down, Raph wouldn't be beating some street punk to death, and I wouldn't be sitting in a grimy alley, my hands coated with Mikey's blood as I frantically tried to stop the bleeding on his shoulder.

It had all started as just a run out to get pizza, Mikey was going, and Raph wanted to tag along. Out of all of us, Raph and Mikey were the two who grew the most side tracked, so I decided it'd be a group activity. Don had chose to stay home, saying something about some plumbers getting to close to home. So we left, telling Splinter we'd be back soon since it was just a pizza pick-up.

It wasn't supposed to come to this, we had just been goofing off on some rooftop, a luxury I never really got, and now as I sit here telling my bleeding baby brother to hold on, I understand why. My mask had been removed about ten minutes ago, and tied around Mikey's shoulder as a bandage, and I looked over to Raph in a silent command for him to stop beating the piece of trash who shot my brother, and to help me get him home, or at least somewhere safer than here.

"Help me move'em Leo." His rough voice filled my head, and I did so, lifting my limp brother up, and carrying him towards the fire escape that would lead to the roof. My mind was strangely numb, and despite being the leader, and always coming up with a plan to prepare for the worse, Raphael had to command me.

How ironic.


End file.
